Celebrity jokes
I am Paul Walker.
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:
TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!
Did you hear that Michael Jackson changed his name from Michael Smith? Well, at least he's honest.
What is Lizzo?
Big, fat, and ugly.
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
This comment section is so dark, it could be Lil Huddy.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
When Michael Jackson died, people melted him down into Lego pieces so that little kids could play with him instead.
Hello, I'm Ariana. I'm looking for someone. Anyone wanna date me?
Ariana
An orphan finds a genie.
Orphan: "My first wish is to be rich."
Genie: "Of course."
Orphan: "My second wish is to be famous."
Genie: "Done."
Orphan: "I wish my parents could come back!"
Genie: "I told you I can't bring people back from the dead!"
When a girl was having an asthma attack, Ariana said, "Just keep breathing and breathing and breathin!!!!!"
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?
OJ couldn’t kill cancer.
His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”
What's the difference between Carrie Underwood and a robot?
A robot can feign empathy.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Michael Jackson.
My friend bought a Tom Holland blanket and I said, "Well, now you're sleeping with him."