Celebrity jokes
What do you call a female Michael Jackson? She she.
Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.
What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?
Billie's Jeans.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
What is stuck between a doorway?
Rebel Wilson.
Memes
"Hee hee touch my pp."
What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
What did the helicopter say?
Helicopter: "Kobe!"
Chuck Norris doesn't ride horses.
Horses ride him.
Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.
What's worse than ants down your pants? Michael Jackson.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Your hairline so far back.
Even LeBron James had a good laugh!
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.