Celebrity

Celebrity jokes

Porn star

What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.

This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.

Carnival

Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?

Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.

Lego

Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.

Bill Cosby

Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?

A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?

Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.

Hit

What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?

Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."

Calendar

Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?

Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.

Kid

I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.