Celebrity jokes
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking when he dies?
The Apple repair store.
What did the helicopter say?
Helicopter: "Kobe!"
Chuck Norris doesn't ride horses.
Horses ride him.
Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.
What's worse than ants down your pants? Michael Jackson.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
Why can't Kobe go shopping?
He's dead.
Your hairline so far back.
Even LeBron James had a good laugh!
Your hairline goes so far back even Dwayne Johnson refused to sit there.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
Have you seen Dolly Parton's new shoes? Neither has she!
Cardi B has very long nails.
My Wi-Fi must be Kobe, because it crashed hard.
Yo mama's so dumb, she thought Bruno Mars was a planet!
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.