Celebrity jokes
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?
The steering wheel.
How does a rapper apologize?
With a rap-ology!
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
Cameron Boyce
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?
Because he never missed a beat!
Damn boy, you must be Nick Cannon because you don’t know when or how to stop.
Your hairline is so far back, I couldn't see you even when Will Smith slapped it.
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?
Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
Why don’t rappers ever get cold?
Because they have so many fans!
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
Your forehead is so big you have to wear a hoodie for the Rock to see your ego because your forehead is so big.
What kind of bride does the pedo icon like? A "maik order" bride. Why? The male part.
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
“Life is going swimmingly,”
“Tell that to Whitney Houston.”
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.