Celebrity jokes
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?
He sang a love song to a rat, yet stans are befuddled on why people keep calling their idol "Wacko Jacko".
What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common? Firstly, they both went from black to white, and secondly, they both get turned on by kids.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
Memes
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.
What's bigger than the Milky Way?
Michael Jackson's nose.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan has all their teeth intact.
Despite Michael Jackson’s legal problems while he was alive, McDonald’s is still going to honor his life achievements in the music industry by naming a sandwich after him.
They’re going to call it the McMichael! It’s going to be a fifty year old piece of meat pressed between two eight year old buns.
What does Michael Jackson like about 28 year olds? There's 20 of them!
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.