Celebrity jokes
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite piano note? A minor.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Memes
Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."
So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.
Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."
Michael Jackson gets really ill, so he's rushed to hospital. When they get there, he says, "Am I in heaven?"
The doctor replies, "Nah, sir, we're just taking a quick shortcut through the children's ward."
Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathize with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
Why can Michael Jackson not play chess? Because he can't pick which side he is on, the white or black side.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.
Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend.
She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
Why did Michael Jackson like having little boys round him? He was studying for the priesthood.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.