Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.
But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? Acne doesn't come on a 5-year-old's face.
"Hee hee touched me."
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming āIām Wei Tu Yungā like I was supposed to know the name.
Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.
Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?
I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
What's harder than steel? Michael Jackson at a playground.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.
Person 1: Goodness, when is Michael Jackson going to stop eating these white chocolate truffles? He is already making a goddamn mess on his bed eating a few of them.
Person 2: Well, he cannot resist the little white balls.
Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.
They both routinely place meat in small buns.
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
Why wasn't Michael Jackson admitted to college? He refused to declare a major; he only wanted to do minors.
Whatās Michael Jacksonās favorite piano note? A minor.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
