Celebrity jokes
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...
His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.
Memes
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?
Because she blew up.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?
I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead.
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
What does Michael Jackson do with his meat? "Just beat it". His song btw lol.
What did Michael Jackson say to the child sitting on him?
“Just beat it! Just beat it!”
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan is more capable of speaking clearly.