A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
The reason your dad never came back with the milk Is cause he ran 88 mph downhill
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Why did the crows form a charity?
Because it's all for good caws!
Why did the boy not cross the road?
Because he was on thin ice.
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.
Bessie Coleman - I don't want to be a flier cause I am African American.
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"
Hey, how is everyone today? Cause I am feeling great!
Why do kids like bananas?
'Cause they like doing the nana.
Cause I am Batman!
Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you've got "fine" written all over you.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
