Career jokes
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
A man goes into a job interview and sits down.
The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"
The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"
The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"
The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery.
boss: "We have to let you go."
surgeon: "I protest innocence."
boss: "How?"
surgeon: "I thought doing your job and saving people's lives were two different things."
boss: "Get out!"
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.