Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
I quit my job at the bank today I lost interest.
My career is worth more than your adoption.
Little boy: Momma Mom: Yes my dear Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's Mom: Why!? Little boy: Just to see if there ice cream machine is actually broken
Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up? Kid 1: I want to be a fire fighter kid 2: I want to be a police officer kid 3: i want to be dead like both my parents Teacher: ok everyone pull out your books Kid 4: are we going to ignore what he said? Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
I used to work for a company called 69, my friend took over my position.
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
Whats the best thing about been a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most
Man: I'm here for the job interview Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews. Man: Just anywhere? Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right? Man: Yeah that's me. (Shakes hands and sits back down) Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson? Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. it really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir. Employer: I like you already, you're hired! Man: Wow thanks, sir. I know i won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job! Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy. Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade? Employer: No. Man: This... This is a photography job right? Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.
Why are orphans always so successful because when their told go big or go home they only have one option.
what does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? a stand up comedian
what is the perfect job for a paedophile
a physical doctor for kids
Whats an orphans dream job? A builder, to build themselves a home.
Rapboat sez he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at mcdonalds
I was playing FIFA and out of nowhere the game glitched during a penalty shootout. Pionel Pessi appeared out of nowhere, took my pen and skied it. Thanks to him, I'm out of UCL and was sacked in Career Mode. Shame on you Pessi!😡😡😡😡
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener - pushing up the daisies!
why would a man spent his whole career at a barn? bc its stable.
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to reel in the BEST HOOKS
Why did the rapper become a plumber?
Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES
