I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.
Mom, can I be a firefighter when I grow up?
Mom: Oh, you won't grow up, Caillou.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
What is a suicidal horny person's job?
A butcher.
A surgeon loses his job as he botched a surgery.
boss: "We have to let you go."
surgeon: "I protest innocence."
boss: "How?"
surgeon: "I thought doing your job and saving people's lives were two different things."
boss: "Get out!"
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
