Career jokes
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
Interviewer: What are your strengths?
Interviewee: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: And your weaknesses?
Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
Paul Walker started in 3 movies: Fast and Furious, Gone in 60 Seconds, To Die Hard.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
What did Pennywise become after LEAVING the circus? Ex-IT.
They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now!
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
"When I was in jail, my girlfriend abandoned me. I created a fascination with becoming a gynecologist. When I got bailed out, I became a Travis Bickle."
Just because you have a career in the North doesn't mean you are North Korean.
Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?
Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.
Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
To find the right direction for his FLOW.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
To find his way to the top of the CHARTS.
OFFICIAL
Pionnel Pessi's tracklist leaked!
1. Neymar gave me a career. 2. Lewandowski finished me. 3. 8-2 4. I own Elche. 5. I am a fraud (ft. Pyllian Mpappe) 6. 10m 7. I fled La Liga 8. Want to be Ronaldo. 9. Long live Bolivia. 10. Wind man