Career jokes
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?
Because it's stable.
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
I hear coal mining is a rock-bottom job.
I lick poo for a living... You?
Why did the rapper become a tailor?
Because they wanted to drop some fresh THREADS.
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"
Why did the rapper become an astronaut?
To drop some BARS in SPACE!
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
"My name is Osama, I lost my jobba, so I became a BOMBA 💣"
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?
A LYRICAL COOK!
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Job sucks. XD
Boss: Why are you so bad at driving trains? How many have you derailed this year?
Me: Sorry, boss, it’s hard to keep track.
My career is worth more than your adoption.
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.