Career Jokes

Man: I'm here for the job interview.

Employer: Oh good, good. Sit down. We don't get many people for the interviews.

Man: Just anywhere?

Employer: Yeah, make yourself comfortable. Jackson, right?

Man: Yeah, that's me.

(Shakes hands and sits back down)

Employer: So what makes you eligible for the job, Jackson?

Man: Well, I'm really good at capturing the perfect shot and angle. It really takes dedication to do this type of job. Concentration and willpower, sir.

Employer: I like you already, you're hired!

Man: Wow, thanks, sir. I know I won't do you wrong. I'll work hard for this job!

Employer: You start now! Your first person is a man named John F Kennedy.

Man: What? You want me to just take pictures of him during the parade?

Employer: No.

Man: This... This is a photography job, right?

Employer: No... this is a job employment for man hunting.

Why are orphans always so successful because when their told go big or go home they only have one option.

What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.

What is the perfect job for a pedophile?

A physical doctor for kids.

What's an orphan's dream job?

A builder, to build themselves a home.

Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?

Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.

Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?

Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.

I was playing FIFA and out of nowhere the game glitched during a penalty shootout.

Pionel Pessi appeared out of nowhere, took my pen and skied it. Thanks to him, I'm out of UCL and was sacked in Career Mode. Shame on you Pessi!😡😡😡😡

I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!

Why did the rapper become a barber?

To trim his verses.

I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.

He’s used to penetrating aggressively.

Why did the rapper become a barber?

Because they love CUTTING TRACKS!

Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?

Because it was all about the TIMING.

Why did the rapper become a fisherman?

Because he wanted to reel in the BEST HOOKS.

Why did the rapper become a plumber?

Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES!

Why did the rapper become a banker?

Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!

Why did the rapper get a job at the bank?

Because he wanted to make some RAP DEPOSITS

My friend dreamed of being a porno star.

He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.

The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?

Because it's stable.

"Nancy be like I sucked my way to the top."