Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
Career Jokes
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
What do you not want to do when it comes to giving an emo a job?
Showing them the ropes.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
A job is like virginity. Not everyone loses it.
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.
Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.
Kid: How much do you get paid?
Teacher: Minimum wage.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now!
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
