Car jokes

I used to have a friend who worked at a car shop who liked hunting.

I’m not friends with him anymore because he turned my dog into a car-pet.

What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!

There once was a woman who had 10 kids. Their names were:

Tenth, Twenty, Thirty, Forty, Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty, Ninety, and One Hundred.

Everyone but Ninety died. She also had 10 kids.

These 10 kids got a dog without Ninety knowing. They had him for 2 years until he got hit by a car.

Only Ninety's kids know about this.

So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.

My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.

A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.

After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.

After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.

What did the mechanic say to the other mechanic when he broke the car?

"How will we wrench ourselves out of this?"

All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any R’s?

That.

I almost got run over by a car.

For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.

Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!

Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?

A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.

1950: In the future there will be flying cars.

2018: Pewdiepie shuts down Shane Dawson.

"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.

I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.

Every time someone calls you a little different, car? Just say, "No, I'm not."

So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)

Why did the car fall asleep?

Because he was too tired.

I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted.