Cant jokes

How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one liners?

Because he can't do standup.

What's the best thing about beating up orphans?

They can't tell their parents.

Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.

Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.

Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.

Why can't Pooh Bear catch a date?

Because he is always talking about his honey.

A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."

I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.

Um.

Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking has ever watched Avengers: Endgame... Oh wait, he can't.

Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!

Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?

Snover1: There's snow in the way.

Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.

Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!

"AAAAARRRGGH!!"

Squirtle: Who is that?

Snover2: That is Snow.

Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!

Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!

"Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"

"Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"

Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!

What do you do after raping a deaf mute eight-year-old girl? Smash the little bitch's hands with a hammer so she can't tell her mum.

Did you hear the one about the deaf person?

Me: No.

That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.

Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?

A: Because they're dead.

What has two legs but can’t walk? Pants 👖

Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?

Because you can't see in the dark.

Why can’t Chinese people have a white baby?

Because two wongs don’t make a white.

What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

Why is it okay to stab meat, but I can't stab myself? These woke lefties, BLM, Antifa, feminists, eco-warriors, pro-vaccine libtards are stopping your freedom and right to stab yourself!

Why can't an orphan have an iPhone?

It has a home button.

Yo mama so fat, Dora can't explore her.

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.