Cant jokes
What does my dad have in common with Nemo?
They both can’t be found.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
Why can’t Hitler do track?
He can’t even finish a race.
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
'Cause they can't find the home button.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
Why can't orphans have iPhones?
Because they can't find the home button.
Your mama is so ugly even Dora can't explore her.
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
A man in a wheelchair and his friend were walking down the street.
Man in Wheelchair: *falls out of wheelchair*
Friend: Are you okay?
Man in Wheelchair: I can't feel my legs!
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
You want to hear a joke about pizza?
Sorry! Can't tell ya, it's too cheesy!
What's big and yellow and can't swim? A bus filled with children.
People are pushing for a Black Statue Of Liberty coin.
Can't wait to use Black people as currency again :)
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.