Cant jokes

Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson’s?

Because it’s a family company.

Why can’t the orphan play baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can't see!

God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"

Why do they never serve beer at a math party?

Because you can't drink and derive.

What does Nemo have in common with my dad?

They both can't be found.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't run home.

Why can’t blind people eat fish?

Because it is seafood.

A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"

"Of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms."

Why can’t orphans win trophies?

Because they can’t take them home.

"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."

I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of kids.

Yo mama is so ugly Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix that!"

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home.

My mom is a chemistry teacher.

Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.

Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A school bus full of children.

I can't wait to see Uranus! 😂

What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?

She can't say no!