Cant jokes
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
Why can’t blind people eat fish?
Because it is seafood.
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
"Of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms."
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Hey guys, it's Hailey here.
I'ma start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
My mom is a chemistry teacher.
Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.
Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
I can't wait to see Uranus! 😂
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What's the only good part of your crush dying before you have the chance to bang her?
She can't say no!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home. 😢
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
What's yellow and can't float?
A school bus full of children.