Cant jokes
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.
What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?
"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"
R.I.P. Floyd.
Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also, in a way, kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wish you could F, but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't.
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.