Can jokes

Why can you trust a donut? It tells the hole truth!

Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.

Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"

Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"

Two cunts were walking down the street.

One was doing calculus, and the other one says, "Imagine me, a stupid cunt that can talk...."

I can’t stand disabled jokes...

Neither can they 😂

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.

One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."

Hitler walked so Kim can run.

What the can say to the tomato?

Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾

I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.

Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.

Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.

So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.

Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.

¡Hola, soy Dora!

Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!

Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂

Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.

Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.

I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?

Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?

"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."

What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?

Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!

A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.

Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?

They both can throw a hook.

Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?

I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.

You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.

Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?

Teacher: No?

Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."