Can jokes
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:
White person: Dad, you're home!
Black person: Dad?
White person: You can keep the change.
Black person: Empty the register.
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
Why does an orphan go to a sewer?
So it can wash up.
What's the difference between E.T. and an orphan?
E.T. can phone home.
When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.
I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.
Oh . . .
:(
Continue.
Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?
From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.