Can

Can jokes

Roadkill

    • Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?

    Friend: Sure.

    Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.

    Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?

    Me: Aren't you my son?

    Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.

    Poem

    • Frank Bulgin is freaky bold, A man with a spirit untamed, untold. With eyes that pierce through the darkest night, He walks a path that's far from light.

    His steps are loud, his presence strong, A force of nature, where he belongs. Through the chaos, he finds his way, Leaving footprints that never fade.

    A rebel soul, unafraid to speak, His words drip with passion, so unique. He dances with danger, embraces the unknown, Challenging limits, into the wild he's thrown.

    No rules can bind him, no walls can contain, Frank Bulgin sets fire to the mundane. He paints the sky with vibrant hues, A kaleidoscope of dreams he pursues.

    In his mind, a symphony of thoughts, An artist's palette, where inspiration is sought. He weaves words like a masterful bard, Creating tapestries that leave us marred.

    With each verse, he unravels his soul, Unveiling the depths that make him whole. His poetry, a window to his essence, A glimpse into a world of fearless presence.

    Frank Bulgin is freaky bold, A maverick, a legend yet to be told. His spirit roams, forever untamed, A beacon of courage, never to be tamed.

  • 1

    • Tent

    • Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.

    Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"

    "Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."

    "What else, Watson?"

    "It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."

    "What Else, Watson?"

    "What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"

    "Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"

  • 0
    • Can memes

    Man

    • A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.

    The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.

    The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”

  • 1

    • Bellybutton

    • Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."

    Wrap

    • A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.

    The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."

    Phone

    • A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:

    Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.

    The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.

    The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”

  • 12

    • Mexican

    • A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"

  • 1

    • Burger

    • A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

    And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."