Can jokes
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
Why can orphans never go to the shops?
'Cause the Talibans will plane dive into them.
As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.
I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
If a bird flies, and a duck can also run and fly, while a cat walks, why do we drink water?
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
Can watersharky and Gwen comment on this? I need to talk to you guys.
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?
Because Flash is not supported on Windows.
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
Riddle: I can fill a room, others can have me, but I can't be shared. What am I?
Answer: Loneliness.
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Here’s my hand, please hold it. That way I can say I was touched by an angel.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.