Can

Can Jokes

Trans

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

Seafood

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

Gynecologist

What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?

Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.

Mosquito

We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.

Weed

What’s the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.

Dinner

What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?

"Will there be seconds?"

Difference

What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain Bolt can finish a race.

Olympics

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

Suicide

If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.

Terrorist

What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.

Potato

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

Ugliness

When someone calls me ugly, I get sad and hug them.

I know life can be difficult for those with weak vision.

Bike

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”