Can jokes

Why can orphans get away from the FBI?

Because they don't have a house.

How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?

Every night he turns into a Golbat.

Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.

It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.

Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.

I'm so confused. Who is Gwen? The only Gwen I can think of is the one from Spiderman. 😂

Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Ken.

Ken who?

Can you walk the dog for me?

How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?

He starts to quiver! ;)

Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?

Because they can actually buy a house.

Why was the Pokemon under your bed? So it can Pikachu.

Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?

There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.

How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.

Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.

Cashier: Sure!

Elderly man: Danke.