Can jokes
What are the similarities of GTA V and 9/11? A plane can be stolen and crashed into a building by a bunch of terrorists.
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
Memes
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.
The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.
Can we go back to 2001?
I bet it was more fun back then.
Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!
Why do emos have friends?
So they can hang with each other.
Why can't I touch little old women, but nursing home nurses can?