Can jokes
Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...
Can we go back to 2001?
I bet it was more fun back then.
How can you tell a Pokémon likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a Golbat.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.
Why do emos have friends?
So they can hang with each other.
Science teacher: How many times can the earth fit into the sun?
Me: As many times as the earth can fit into you.
What type of horse can jump higher than a house?
All houses can't jump.
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like an apple.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
I'm so confused. Who is Gwen? The only Gwen I can think of is the one from Spiderman. 😂
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)