Can jokes
Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
Hey! This site has a home page, but I wonder if the orphans can see it.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
Using pi, distract the fat kid next to you so you can copy his answers.
With the sentence "Die in Hölle," you can buy shoes in Germany.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.