Can jokes
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Don’t have a bike? You can mount me instead.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
¡Hola, soy Dora!
Can you help me find the two fucks I'm supposed to give?!
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.
If you jump off a building and yell "parkour," how can they tell that it was intentional? T'was a failed stunt.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"