Wanna hear somethin' ironic?
When one cutter tells another cutter to stop, but he himself can't stop cutting.
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man better than another heterosexual man? experience
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
Why can't disabled people make jokes.
Well, it's called Stand-Up comedy isn't it?
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
When I die can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?
Well, probably their kneecaps.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the the sower you can't even see it.
Guy: No I see your sister's head
Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.
What do you call Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
I named my dog 5 miles so when I walk him I can say I walked 5 miles random guy: I ran over 5 miles
Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
What were the terroist of 9/11 thinking?
We can’t go over it we can’t go under it we'll have to go through it
One day I came home from school and said to my dad 'I got expelled from school today' he said ' how' I said I threw my book at the teacher' he asked why' I told him we were doing an anti-bullying program and my teacher said words can't hurt me so I threw my dictionary at her. '
Hey can't wait to meet you! So join the crippiling depression family!!
