Can Jokes

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a uni cycle

We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, "Where'd you get that?"

The student on the bike replies, "While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, "You can have anything you want.""

The first student responds, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say black paint anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall"

Theres an outbreak of the foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.

I hope my teacher will be ok

Nobody Literally nobody Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven

Why dont witches wear underwear?

So they can get a better grip on their broom

What’s the only time you can do almost whatever you want

When you have a gun in you hand

You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. -- If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.

Once you go Asian, you can solve the equation.

What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely? Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

i can here thunder outside which i find weird since the lightning is on my arm....

Welcome to the abortion clinic. You make em, we scrape em. No fetus can beat us.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.

Whats worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?

- 1 dead baby in 5 garbage cans.

Rules of Dark humor: 1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits. 2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes. 3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site. - Sincerely, Zane

Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”