Can jokes

Period: Guess who’s back... back again...

Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?

Period: I can come back in 9 months?

Me: Keep fucking singing.

Hey Gwen, can we please chat? I am really bored! Love you! 😘😘😘😘😘

What did Stephen Hawking's mum say to him when he asked for £10?

"You can take a run and jump!"

Your mom is so fat nobody can compare her to anything.

"Brian, can I see that paper for a sec?"

I can't make any more songs because nobody likes them. So when you see a song you like, give it a like so I can continue making more songs.

If anyone would like a song played, type it in the comments. Type the name of the song, then type the person who made the song, the songwriter. Sincerely, Watersharky Music Productions.

Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!

"Know, know how there."

"Lesh, lesh how can you at lesh remember my name?"

The man says, "Can you hump me?" So the other boy says, "Bro bro bro bro bro."

How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?

Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"

"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.

Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.

Me: I can only see fat.

How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.

White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."

If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"

Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?

A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.

Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.