Can jokes

How do you know an abo robbed your house?

The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.

You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.

EVERYONE:

"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"

Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.

So, a guy and his brother were walking in the woods, and his brother said, "It's getting dark out here, can we go home?"

The man said, "I know, think how I will feel walking home tonight!"

What's the difference between PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with the terrorist.

Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?

Yeah, you sure can, but don't be having all your balls in it. It will taste nasty.

Y'know what's really sad?

Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, How many bananas can I fit, Maybe two?

What is a car that runs and can't?

"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.

"What is it?" said George Sink.

"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.

What's the difference between Batman and Robin?

Batman can go to the store without robbin'.

We were talking about ancient ruins last week, so I said they can ruin your day!

Have you heard about my new can crushing job?

It's soda-pressing.

Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.

Me: I can only see fat.

Why does an orphan go to church?

So they can call someone "father."

Why have sex when you can perv on your neighbor's grandma!

Bitch, I can make orange rhyme with banana.

BORNANA

Why do people consume "Laxatives"?

Answer: So that they can take a "Shit", STUPID!

Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.