Why doesn't Mexico compete in the Olympics?
Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, and swim are in the U.S.
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?".The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off.".
People be like: What happened to fruit ninja? It was on your phone, Me: I upgraded now i can play on my pro max thigh/wrists
Why you can't kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
Q)What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim ? A) Robert Drowney JR.
All rape can be prevented. It's just a matter of semantics.
And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up and I'll see you on Monday
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I can say, “Get down Syndrome!”
A GUY GOES TO SEE HIS PSYCHIATRIST DRESSED ONLY IN BUBBLE WRAP. WHEN HE GETS THERE HE ASKED THE PSYCH, cAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME? THE PSYCH SAYS NO, I'M SORRY, I CAN CLEARLY SEE YOUR NUTS.
Spongebob is yellow, and he can't drive.
Must be Asian.
Hi hunter. Emilly wrote this
Why do orphans love having sex?
Becuase They can finally call somebody daddy.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker? I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
What does a pizza delivery man and a ginacologist have in common? They can both smell it but they can’t eat it
An orphan goes to a doctor. Doctor: Sorry I can't help you Orphan: But why? Doctor: I'm a family doctor
" Why is it that Orphans only play tennis" That's the only love they can get"...
Is Stephen hawking under warranty, if so can I bring him back to currys pc world?
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman you can’t beat it but if you do she’ll probably come back again
