Can jokes
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
Three men were going for a drive through the desert. An hour later, the car breaks down. They all take something from the car to keep themselves cool as they walk to the nearest gas station a few miles back.
One guy grabs a hand-held fan. Another guy grabs the jug of water. The last guy takes the car door off. About 15 minutes into walking, the other two are giving the one guy weird looks. Finally, one of them asks why he is taking the car door. The third guy just replies that whenever he gets hot he can just roll down the window.
How do you know an abo robbed your house?
The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because that's the only time they can run home.
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
Your forehead is so big that you can see the whole world before you do!
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
Why is there no invitation to an internet party for those with laptops? Everyone can get in.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because then they can play catch.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.