Call jokes

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?

A headbanger.

Call me an elevator, because I let people down.

What do you call depressed coffee?

Despresso ;)

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfie.

Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

I have an exam next week, so I called my ex and asked if she had any cheating tips.

So yesterday, I was at an orphanage, harassing children by twerking at them.

They burst into tears.

I was worried that they would call their mom, well... um... I got away.

What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?

A liar.

What do you call an 18 year old orphan?

Homeless.

What do you call an orphan? No home-o.

I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)

Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."

What do you call a rooster lollipop?

A cock sucker!

Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.

What do you call a FAT Man under 5'9"?

A JUMBO shrimp.

It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.

What do you call a disabled person who gets high?

Baked potato.

What do you call a basement full of SJW's?

A whine cellar.

What do you call a Pirate Pokemon?

Arrrrrr-ceus!