Call jokes
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
Why do orphans love having sex?
Because they can finally call somebody "daddy."
What did the bounty hunter call his favorite dog?
His Boba Pet.
What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?
A Konichiuahua.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.
So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."
Q: What do you call brown mixed with yellow?
A: Someone who just ate beans.
Why are wives also called a housekeeper?
Because after the divorce, they keep the house.
What do you call it when a town on the south coast of England sprouts legs and starts walking around the country?
A walkie-Torquay.
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
What do you call an orphan? Batman.
Why didn't the orphan do the work?
Because when the teacher says they would call your mum or dad, there's nobody to call.
What do you call a surprised Chinese man?
Ho Lee Fuk.
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool? The dry bear.
What do you call a lying Mexican?
Pinocchico.
What do you call a U.S. border hopper?
A Mexican jumping bean.
What did the Teacher say to the orphan?
"I am calling your parents!"