Call jokes
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
What do you call a man with farts?
DEEZ NUTS!
What do you call an epileptic in a swimming pool? A dishwasher.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
A guy starts texting a cute girl and asks her to give him her phone number so he can call her. The girl says, "OK, but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number. Then I am gonna be your girlfriend and will meet you somewhere." He transfers her the balance and calls her, but it turns out the girl was actually a guy making him a fool. He blocked him.
The next day, he was very angry about himself being a fool, so he thought he'd do the same. He makes a fake girl account and starts texting with some random guy, and then he asks that guy to send him balance. Suddenly, his father came into his bedroom and asked, "Son, can you send me some balance? I am gonna send you cash after sometime." That guy looks at his father with suspicious eyes, and then he calls that random number. Suddenly his father's phone starts ringing......
I knew a girl called Melissa, but she was a tranny, and he could suck his own dick.
I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.
What do you call me?
Chinese?
What do you call an octopus whose father left?
An octopie.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
What do you call a guy named Ben?
Answer: Ben
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
What do you call snowmen having sex?
A snowjob.
What do you call a Jedi that can use the force to fly?
A Jedi Flight.
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"