Call jokes
What do you call numbers that don’t stay in place?
Roamin’ Numerals.
What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
Q: What is a Karen called in Europe?
A: An American.
What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?
Ruberto
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What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.
Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Nacho cheese.
What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?
Names.