Call jokes
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
Memes
me when i get called on in class
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
What do you call a peso?
A wetback greenback.
What do you call a midget stripper?
A pocket pussy.
What do you call a bunch of Black people in the river?
A black current...
What do you call a terrorist in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a booty that can do magic?
A butt trick!
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.