Call jokes
Living in Houston, Texas, and realizing that hurricanes are an annual threat, my ex-wife called me and asked what would be the safest route to get out of Houston to avoid a hurricane. My answer? Take the 610 loop, dear!
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
What do you call a clock on a belt?
A waist of time.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
What do you call a bunch of llamas?
Alpaca llama.
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
What do you call James, James?
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?
The 2028 US election.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
Do you know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"?
No, it screeches.
What do you call a kid on the track team who isn't on the track team?
A school shooter.
What do you call a lesbian on a bike?
A dyke...
Did you hear about the Mexican emo band? They're called "Hispanic at the Disco."