Call jokes
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
What do you call a crease join?
Hahaha
What do you call 3 orphan girls in a tornado?
All of her twist.
What do you call a Panera Bread you write with?
Panera lead.
Memes
What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.
Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
Your hairline's so far up, they call it a skyline!
What do you call a batter in a hot air balloon?
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
What do you call a fast Panera Bread?
Panera Sped.
What do you call a very long bowl?
Manute Bowl.
What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.
What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
What do you call somebody with no nose?
What do you call a notorious special needs student with an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
What do you call a Muslim bee?
Habibee.
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
I found two of the same Lego Duplo sets, so I called ‘em “Duplocates.”