Call jokes
My dad called me as I said I shit in my sister's mouth. Impossible? Nope.
What do you call a Flying Pilot? Because he can go pee on the plane!
When a bomb goes off, they call it an explosion.
When Keemstar exposes someone, they call it an exposion.
What do you call staring stares?
Stares.
What do you call two emos spending time together?
Hanging out.
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
Yo mama is so unfamiliar with the gym, she calls it James.
Which word is also called for women's prison?
"Pridaughter."
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers? Well hung.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
What do you call a crease join?
Hahaha
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair? Your next door grumpy old neighbor.