Call

Call jokes

Sex

77 views ·

Husband: Honey, do you want sex?

Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.

Husband: Is that your final answer?

Wife: Mmmmm.

Husband: Are you sure?

Wife: Yes.

Husband: No doubts?

Wife: No.

Husband staring a long time at his wife.

Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.

Chopper

85 views ·

A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.

A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.

Wife

3 views ·

Why are wives also called a housekeeper?

Because after the divorce, they keep the house.

Priest

32 views ·

I went up to a priest and asked if he participated in NNN. He replied, "How can I, with all these people calling me daddy?"

Tool

15 views ·

Some dude called me a tool.

So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.

Guess he was right :/

Honey

12 views ·

The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.

Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"

Kobe

64 views ·

If you take a shot, a paper wad, in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.

Drug

140 views ·

Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.

Professor

77 views ·

An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.

Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.

When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

Food

23 views ·

I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.