Call jokes
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What do you call someone that no one loves?
An orphan.
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "dad."
Teacher: *calls you up to the board*. You: Ok. *Gets intense boner* *has to fart really bad* You: F***!!!!!!!
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
McDonald's called back and they said they want their logo back.
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
What do you call a retard that got hit by a car? Mashed potatoes.
What did Vegeta say to Bulma?
What?
Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)
What do you call an orphan when he's taking a photo?
Family photo.
In Home Alone, if the kid was an orphan, it would just be called "Alone."
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.