Call jokes

Orphans want girlfriends to call someone "Mommy."

What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."

What do you call someone who is extra virgin?

Mrs. Frame.

What do you call an orphan fish?

Self-ish.

Why are they called s’mores?

Because you always want another one!

What do you call security outside a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?

A clout chaser.

Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.

What do starving kids call Venetian blinds?

Bunk beds.

What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?

Kentucky Fried Children!

What's it called when you eat those same babies?

Finger Lickin' Good!

There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job?

Snoozin' B. Anthony!

Screw anima!

Oh wait, that's called hentai.

A Story:

I lived in a small house. Behind my house was a big forest. If I went in the forest, then I heard scary sounds. That was very dreadful. I had a son. He was 9 years old. One day he went into the forest and did not come back. I called the police, but it couldn't help. I went looking. I really wanted my son Robby back. I missed him so! With a flashlight and compass, I went into the dark, eerie forest. Then the noises came again, but this time I also heard a scream. A scream from a nine year old child. It was Robby, certainly! I stopped in front of a tunnel.

Sequel follows...

If someone calls you, just say:

"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"

What do you call an Asian man flying a plane?

A pilot, you racist fuck!

What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.

What do you call someone with one arm and no legs?

Names.

Q. What do you call a Muslim basketball player?

A. Osama Bin Ballin'.

What do you call my sister?

Suicidal.