Call jokes
If you take a shot, a paper wad, in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?
Ereptile Dysfunction!
What do you call a Mexican midget?
A paragraph, because he's not a full essay.
A girl goes to a Church to confess.
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfi.
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.