Call Jokes

What do you call anal rape?

Ass cream.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"

The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."

A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"

The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."

Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."

Me: Help, I'm stuck in a trap.

Friend: What kind?

Me: It's called life. Yeah, I've been trying to get out of it for six years now, it just won't let me go.

Friend: That's not funny..

Me: Yeah? Nor is wanting to die, yet I'm still over here laughing every time I try to.

Friend: I'm calling your mom.

Me: She knows.

Friend: What's she doing to help, then?

Me: She's supposed to help?

Friend: Have you told your dad?

Me: I will when he comes back.

Friend: Where is he?

Me: I don't know, he's been gone for 15 years.

Friend: ....

Me: What?

Friend: Why?

Me: Why what?

Friend: Why would you joke like that?

Me: I was joking..

Friend: I know.

Me: Oh. I didn't know.

Friend:...

Me: Have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow... Maybe...

Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.

What do you call an octopus with a hat?

An octopus with a hat, of course.

What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?

A bath bomb.

What do you call a group of emos?

Suicide Squad.

Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?

'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.

I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.

What do you call a dog in China?

E10

What do you call a male robot who wants to be a girl?

A trans-former.

You call him the holy cross. I call it the rejected Smash character.

Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"

What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.

What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.

What do you call an ex-lesbian?

A clitter quitter.

What is Instagram called in USA?

Instaounce.

Q: What do you call a gang of emos?

A: Suicide Squad.

What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!