
Call jokes
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
What do we call a skeleton who has a ton of travels?
A skele-TON!
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.
What do you call a grey, fat, and very old unicorn?
A rhino.
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
What do you call a goat?
A goat.
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish