Call jokes
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
My short friend called me a scrub, even though he was the one below me.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
A bull-dozer.
You've got a body inside you. It's called your bones.
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
What's Stephen Hawking's wife called? Wendy.
Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
What do you call a lazy potato chip? Lays!
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."