Receiver

Receiver Jokes

Money

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.

Toaster

And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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  • Blowjob

    Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?

    Factory

    Whatโ€™s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory?

    Two test tickles.

    Space

    I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.

    Heterosexual men

    Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.

    Lord

    After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.

    Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"

    Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."

    Lord: "My dog died?!"

    Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."

    Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"

    Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."

    Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"

    Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."

    Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"

    Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"

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  • Football Player

    How do you know when a football player has been to jail?

    When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.

    Roman Catholic

    Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?

    because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.

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  • Heart Monitor

    Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.

    Doctor

    A man receives a phone call from his doctor.

    The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."

    The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."

    The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."

    The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"

    The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

    Toaster

    Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.

    Adult

    ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿค” Why did a โ™ฟ why did a physically handicapped ๐Ÿ‘จ gay man that is a sex worker received $35.00 for a blowjob from gay men in the LGBT community? because he can suck the chrome of a tail pipe ๐ŸŒญ ๐ŸŒญ ๐ŸŒญ ๐ŸŒญ ๐ŸŒญ ๐ŸŒ ๐ŸŒ ๐ŸŒ ๐ŸŒ ๐ŸŒ

    Blow job

    What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?

    If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ˜

    Nun

    What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

    Twin

    A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.

    Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

    Brothel

    I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

    Infidelity

    Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

    Slut

    Your mother is such a slut, she should be in the NFL hall of fame for the greatest wide receiver!

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  • Twin Towers

    Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!