What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
Why was the twin towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
your hairline so for back its a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings
What’s the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory? Two test tickles.
And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster
Did you ever received a anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have a orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?
I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training programme.
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father? because Roman Catholic men between 18 - 29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole
How do you know when a football player has been to jail? When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
Jesus said to his disciples "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life". Thomas came fifth however so he only got a toaster.
🤔 🤔 🤔 Why did a ♿ why did a physically handicapped 👨 gay man that is a sex worker received $35.00 for a blowjob from gay men in the LGBT community? because he can suck the chrome of a tail pipe 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌
What do you you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
I wanted to open a Brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was unfortunately not so well received.
Recently I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker down town in Manhattan, New York thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
Q: the person who makes it doesnt say what it is the person who receives it doesn't know what it is the person who knows what it is doesn't want it what am i? A: a baby
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain. The email reads: „Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here“.
Why do heterosexual men like to receive a anonymous blowjob at a adult book store because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually."
little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor
Was drinking in a bar with this girl when I suddenly blacked out. The next morning I received a letter saying they are processing my child benefits application, dafaq I never had kids
