Call jokes
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me.
The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment.
With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
Me and my brother were called the twin towers. My brother lived up to his title after the plane crash.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
Who do you call to clean up foul language?
A cuss-todian!
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
My dad came back!
What do you call a white girl at Starbucks?
At home.
What do you call a baby in an elevator?
Lubrication.
When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?
"One, he killed himself."
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
The doctor said he had good news and bad news. The good news is that you have 24 hours to live. The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.