Call jokes
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
What do you call a sex offender attending church? A priest.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
What do you call a router in a thong?
CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)
Tonight I'm making a fort. I'm calling it Fortnite.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.