Call jokes

I raped your mom. I flipped her upside down and called the position "wow."

What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?

America's funniest home videos.

A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."

What do you call a bad joke?

A bad Noah!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

What do you call a guy on fire in a wheelchair?

Hot wheels.

Best chick ever.

Call me at 6969696969.

What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?

Splattered.

One day, inexplicably, my talking parrot started insulting me. He called me an idiot, a fool, a jerk, stupid, and a variety of other nasty names. I warned the squawker to cease, but to no avian avail. Fed up, I finally flipped the foul-mouthed feather-brain into the freezer...but after about 15 seconds, I relented and let him out.

"I'm so sorry," he declared! "I don't know what came over me, and realize I shouldn't have said those terrible things. I hope you can forgive me, and I promise never to do it again! By the way...what did the chicken do?" 🐔😂

What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."

What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?

A criminal! 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

What do you call an orphan family photo?

A selfi.

I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

Dad: What do you call a crazy creeper?

Mom: Shit, I don't know...

Kid: Crrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Dad: That's my boy's!!!

I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."

Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.

If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???

I'm just happy no idiots are calling these people fat-phobic.

What do you call a whore with a runny nose?

...Full!

What do you call your sister who only has one leg?

Ei-lean.