Call jokes
Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
What do you call a banana driving a car?
A banana car.
What do you call butter without an expiration date?
A miracle butter, because wow!
What do starving kids call Venetian blinds?
Bunk beds.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
If someone called you ugly, say before you call me ugly, look in a mirror.
Husband: Honey, do you want sex?
Wife: No, thanks, I have a headache.
Husband: Is that your final answer?
Wife: Mmmmm.
Husband: Are you sure?
Wife: Yes.
Husband: No doubts?
Wife: No.
Husband staring a long time at his wife.
Husband: Okay, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
Why do any orphans have sex?
Because they can't call anyone "daddy."
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2.
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
What do you call a baby with red on it?
A baby in a microwave.
What do you call two redheads on Mars?
Locals.
What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!
What do you call a shitty movie? One that fucking sucks and shits.
What do you call a bad bitch? You call them stupid bitches.