Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?
Because they couldn’t call his parents!
What do you call roller skates you can walk in?
"Wock n' roll."
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "dad."
Why do they call them apartments when they are together?
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.
Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?
Richard: No, I couldn't.
Richard's mom: Why?
Richard: Because he was cute.
There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?
I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
