Call jokes
Most people say I'm a clown. Yet they don't laugh at my jokes. Most people avoid me because I'm a "clown". Yet I'm not the center of the circus. But I know I'm gonna be a clown forever. Because I can't take this damn mask off, no matter how hard I try.
Weeks later: Finally I found out why I'm being called a clown...because my smiling face is fake...
Screw anima!
Oh wait, that's called hentai.
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."
What do you call my dick?
A. A monster.
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
What's wrong with my friend?
He's called Dobby Coleman and has a massive jaw.
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
What do you call Bill Tran?
Stupid noob.
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER