Call jokes
What do you call a series of ascending steps with eyes that follow you intently?
A starecase.
What do you call an ant who fights crime?
A vigilANTe!
What do you call a feminazi that has a dick the size of a Vienna Sausage?
Fudge Packer.
What do you call a disabled person called Gerald?
GERALD!
What do you call an orphan being kidnapped?
A surprise adoption!!
What do you call a computer that sings?
A Dell.
What do you call a trans superhero team?
Ex-men.
What do you call it when two gay roosters fight?
Cockfighting
What do you call an alpaca of Pakistani nationality?
An alpaki.
Why can’t Kurt Cobain ride in the passenger seat?
Because he doesn’t like when someone calls "shotgun!"
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Not yo cheese!
What do you call a pool full of disabled people?
Vegetable soup.
Yo mama is so stupid that she called pest control for gym rats.
What do you call an autistic person who is a dumbass? A dumbism.
What do you call a lesbian vampire?
Cunt Dracula.
What do you call a sick Asian?
A calculator with dead batteries.
Teacher: "What's your name?"
Student: "Hang on a second."
10 seconds later:
Teacher: "Is something wrong?"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
20 seconds later:
Teacher: "Don't say a word!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
Teacher: "Come here and tell me your name right now!!!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't call for help!!!"
Student: "Just listen to me!"
Teacher: "Go on, speak!"
Student: "Hang on a second!"
Teacher: "Don't push my patience; this is no joke!!! Tell me your name right now!"
Student: "Hang on a second!!!"
A German, a Swiss, and a Russian make a bet: whoever has the most forest area in their country wins about 10,000 euros.
First, they fly over Switzerland: 8,000 square kilometers of forest. The German starts getting cold feet, as he doesn't think he'll win. Next, they fly over Russia: 50,000 square kilometers of forest. The German realizes he doesn't stand a chance unless he cheats.
When they fly over Germany, they see 10,000 square kilometers of forest. The German seems to have won, but then the Swiss shouts: "That's a tree!" The German was accused of fraud.
The German is furious. He calls the head of the Bundeswehr: "Why did the tree move?!" The boss said, "I'll put the guy who moved on the line," and passed the receiver over.
"Why did you move?" the German asked.
The young man replied: "Okay, when a dog came along and peed on my trunk, that was still fine. But then a bear came along and rubbed against my trunk..."
Trump keeps calling people "nasty", "failing", and "disgusting".
Doesn't he own a mirror?
What do you call Mario?
Bros.