Call jokes
They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?
A brunette with bad breath.
I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".
If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".
If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose
What do you call a group of people who are interested in Nintendo monkeys?
A Kongregation.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"