Call jokes

What does an orphan call a kidnapping?

A surprise adoption.

A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"

People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.

Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."

What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?

Must be lots of drunks there.

Why did the orphan go to church?

It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."

Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"

The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."

Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"

What do you call an army of autistic people?

Special forces!

What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?

A Sundown Smackdown.

What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?

A liquor cabinet.

What do you call a terrorist in a bath?

A bath bomb.

My girlfriend called me a pedophile.

And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

What do you call a dick?

Suck my dick!

What would a Down syndrome Ben 10 alien be called?

Chromostone.

What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.

What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!

What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.

What do you call an Iraqi who owns a camel and a goat?

Bisexual.