Call jokes
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.
A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.
The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.
Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"
The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."
What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven
Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere
Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
What do you call a white man that can dance?
A faggot.
What do you call a retarded Mexican?
Ricardo.
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.
What do you call a riot full of white people?
An avalanche.
What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?
A bath bomb 💣
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?
Must be lots of drunks there.
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"
The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."
Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?
A Sundown Smackdown.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.