Calendar jokes
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
Son: Dad, Dad, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!!
Dad: What's wrong? Are you OK?!
Son: Mia asked me out on a date on February 30th!
Dad: 'Cause there's no February 30th?
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year?
Because they don't have a Mother's and Father's Day.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because there is no Mother's or Father's Day.
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they miss Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.
Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.
Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.
Why do orphans only have 363 days?
They don’t have Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?
I’m thursty (Thursday).
Orphans only have 363 days because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day.