hey siri, skip to friday
"It's Sunday evening!!!"
"No. It's Monday eve."
orphans have 263 days on a calendar because they dont have mothers or fathers day.
What comes after 69 Period
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020? Because they had a fight and 2021.
what month has 28 days
all of them
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F -Subscribe to LowkeyNel💓🌈 on yt please
Why are there only 363 days in an orphans calendar They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day
Can Febuary March? No but April May.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness. Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off
whats the diffaance betewwen you and a callandder
callander got dates
what is the difference between you and a calendar a calendar has dates
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
Why are there only 362 days in an orphans calendar? They don’t have Fathers, Mothers or family day
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day. Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first. Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am. Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet. Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you. Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you. Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down. Most restaurants are closed at night.. but your legs aren’t. I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out. Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight. Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately... but I hope it’s you. Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream. Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you. Do you sing in the shower? Because if so I need a private ticket of your concert. Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between. Are you a blanket? Because your on top of me every night. Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7. Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream. I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not. Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down. Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up. Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days
if you ever get bored tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar if they ask why say because your missing fathers day and mother’s day
