A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
I can't believe I got fired at the calendar factory. I mean... all I did was take a day off!
The fourth month (Symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides That day is called "April Fool's"
I told a orphan there was 363 days in a year
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
Why does Joe only have 264 days in his calendar?
Because he can't celebrate Father's Day.
May.
12/8?
orphans have 263 days on a calendar because they dont have mothers or fathers day.
"It's Sunday evening!"
"No. It's Monday eve."
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
Five more days.
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
What comes after 69?
Period.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
