Calendar Jokes

Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.

whats the diffaance betewwen you and a callandder

callander got dates

Can Febuary March? No but April May.

A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said "they're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."

if you ever get bored tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar if they ask why say because your missing fathers day and mother’s day

Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.

Worst joke ever.

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? -- He took a day off.

I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!

Leave a life if you LOL at this joke!

Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar? I hear they got six months each.

A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replyed: Till december

i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

What do girls have that boy’s don’t have? Bobbys

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!

After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F -Subscribe to LowkeyNel💓🌈 on yt please

what is the difference between you and a calendar a calendar has dates

I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness. Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off

Why can’t orphans drink nothing because they don’t have any money

Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day. Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first. Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am. Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet. Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you. Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you. Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down. Most restaurants are closed at night.. but your legs aren’t. I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out. Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight. Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately... but I hope it’s you. Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream. Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you. Do you sing in the shower? Because if so I need a private ticket of your concert. Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between. Are you a blanket? Because your on top of me every night. Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7. Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream. I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not. Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down. Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up. Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.