Calendar jokes
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
What comes after 69?
Period.
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
"It's Sunday evening!"
"No. It's Monday eve."
Why do orphans only have 360 days?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's days.
Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year?
Because they don't have a Mother's and Father's Day.
Why does an orphan's year only have 363 days? Because it's missing Mother's and Father's Day.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
Why do orphans only have 354 days?
'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!
12/8?
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.
You can't convince me otherwise.
The fourth month (symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"
What month has 28 days?
All of them.
There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.
What is shark's favorite day?
Chewsday.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.