Calendar jokes
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
Which days are the strongest?
Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
What comes after 69?
Period.
Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.
Why do orphans only have 354 days?
'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!
12/8?
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
"It's Sunday evening!"
"No. It's Monday eve."
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year?
Because they don't have a Mother's and Father's Day.
Why do orphans only have 360 days?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's days.
Why does an orphan's year only have 363 days? Because it's missing Mother's and Father's Day.
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.
You can't convince me otherwise.
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"
What month has 28 days?
All of them.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
What is shark's favorite day?
Chewsday.
There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.
Why are there only 363 days for orphans?
Because they don't have Mothers' and Fathers' Day.