Calendar jokes
What comes after 69?
Period.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
"What time is it?"
"Daytime."
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
Why are there only 363 days for orphans?
Because they don't have Mothers' and Fathers' Day.
Why do orphans only have 360 days?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's days.
What is shark's favorite day?
Chewsday.
Better Friday the 13th than any Monday.
Why is September 11th the best birthday? Because no one ever forgets it!
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have a “mother’s” or “father’s” day!
If an orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year, tell them for you it's only 363 days because you skip Father's Day and Mother's Day.