Calendar jokes
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's day.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.
What comes after 69?
Period.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year?
Because they don’t have mothers and Father’s Day!
"What time is it?"
"Daytime."
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
A calendar asked the doctor how many time he's got left. The doctor replied: "'Til December."
Why do orphans only have 360 days?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's days.
What is shark's favorite day?
Chewsday.
Why are there only 363 days for orphans?
Because they don't have Mothers' and Fathers' Day.
Why is September 11th the best birthday? Because no one ever forgets it!
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
Better Friday the 13th than any Monday.
The date is April 1st.
Somebody asks you what you are doing.
“I guess you could say I’m... fooling around ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)“
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
If an orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year, tell them for you it's only 363 days because you skip Father's Day and Mother's Day.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Good Year, the other’s a great year.