Calendar jokes
12/8?
Hey Siri, skip to Friday!
Five more days.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
Why do orphans only have 360 days?
Because they don't have Mother's and Father's days.
Why does an orphan's year only have 363 days? Because it's missing Mother's and Father's Day.
"It's Sunday evening!"
"No. It's Monday eve."
Orphans have 363 days on a calendar because they don't have Mothers' or Fathers' Day.
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year?
Because they don't have a Mother's and Father's Day.
Why do orphans only have 354 days?
'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!
What is the shortest month of the year?
May, it only has 3 letters!
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.
You can't convince me otherwise.
What is shark's favorite day?
Chewsday.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
What month has 28 days?
All of them.
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"
There are 365 days in a year. Orphans have 363 because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day.
The fourth month (symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.