What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
What month has 28 days?
All of them.
10/7 is probably a spinoff of 9/11.
You can't convince me otherwise.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
Which month is the bus? December.
After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
Can Febuary March? No but April May.
Man, everybody's birthday is this year! 🤦🏽♂️
What month of the year has 28 days?
Answer: All of them.
A man dies of old age on his 25th birthday. How is this possible?
Answer: He was born on February 29.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
My girlfriend was born on February 29th, so does that mean she is 2 years old?
Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.
Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.
Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!
HAHAHAH! You all got April fooled in the wrong month!
