But jokes
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
Memes
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...
What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise
Why were the people on the World Trade Center so pissed?
People, they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.