But jokes

What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?

You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.

Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.

Mmmm, bread. I love Panera Bread.

This is unrelated, but where I live, there is no Panera Bread. Y'know what that's called?

No Panera Bread.

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.

I ordered a pizza with everything on it, but I got a plain pizza.

Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.

But you gotta eat it!

His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.

My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

I am never wrong. One time I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken.

Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."

The emo tried to high five the tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

I'm no astronomer, but I’m pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

I still don't know what's the worst, most dangerous place to take your children on holiday, but, for certain, it's either Vatican City or Neverland Ranch.

What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.

My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.

There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

Son said, "But I can't see."

Mom said, "That's the point."

She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!