But jokes

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"

He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"

I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...

"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."

Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)

I moved all the Bibles to the fiction section because there is no God, as said Stephen Hawking in 2011, but in 2018, God said there was no Stephen Hawking.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

The towers ordered pepperoni but got plane.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but only got plane.

When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.

But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.

I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.

My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.

In British chess I guess they play without a queen...

But in American chess they play without 2 towers.

The depressed kid tried to high five the tree.

But the tree left him hanging!

I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.

Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."

My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.

My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.

I usually tell jokes about Kobe, but they usually crash and burn.

Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.

At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...