But jokes

6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared?

Because 10 was in 9/11.

Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?

Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."

Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"

Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.

Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.

I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?

... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.

I caught the flowers at a wedding--now married to a hot guy. But then I caught an STD at a funeral, I kinda nervo.........

So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]

The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane.

The Christian's and the Buddhist's flight goes well, but the Muslim's plane has a problem and crashes into two towers.

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.

The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.

Twin Towers: "No, it won't."

Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."

The kid: But it has no home button.

Me: Exactly. 💀

I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"

"Nining leven BITCH. I don't know how to spell, but it's that shit where the planes flew into them towers."

I was about to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was too plane.

The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.

The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.

Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.

For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.

Why did the Twin Towers report to the pizza restaurant?

Because they asked for pepperoni, but they got plain.