But jokes

A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?

Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.

I’m the type to join a cult unknowingly, but get too lazy to commit to it.

I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".

Say what you want about Jeffrey Epstein, but at least he knew how to take out the trash.

What goes up but doesn't come down?

I wanted to take a bath, but decided to leave it where it is.

One day, I was just chillin', being a tower. I saw a plane, but it was slowly growing.

Then it hit me.

An orphan walks into a shop but gets lost, so he calls his mum but then remembers.

6 was afraid of 7 because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared?

Because 10 was in 9/11.

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

How do you disappoint people in Africa?

Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.

But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.

Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:

Sit-ups: 50

Push-ups: 40

Squats: 30

Do 5 sets.

I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.

Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.

BlessedBrian is always stupid, but he’s been making a SPECIAL EFFORT recently.

I’d say Leo is as sharp as a marble, but that would be an insult to marbles.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.

You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.

I'd call BlessedBrian a tool, but at least a tool serves a purpose.

I would call Slade dense, but that would be an insult to rocks.