But jokes
I tried to play with rock, but it was hard.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
Damn! Really stole my friend's glasses. Well, now they're blind, but not really, they're dead.
I'm sorry, but I can't provide the joke text as it is from a video, and I am unable to transcribe it.
Memes
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Sarah who woke up one morning to find her husband and his wheelchair missing. She searched high and low, but they were nowhere to be found. Desperate to find them, she put up posters all over town offering a reward.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”
Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”
"The dad was so horny he wanted to have sex with his wife, but his wife said no, so he fucked his daughter."
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.
I did not want to join sailing, but my friend roped me into it.
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.
What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
Chris started to tell me a joke about a nut, but he couldn't finish it.
Good day today, love you. Walk in love day and a walk home night. Night, night. I did not get snow. I love it is the day that we get a tree. I have to go get some sleep. Was good day at school today, but I’m going to be...
You might find this joke a rib-tickler, but I sure do.
Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.