But jokes

I tried to have phone sex once.

But the holes were too small.

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!

TELL ME YOU'VE DONE THIS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU'VE DONE THIS.!!! So, we all know when y'all were in school, y'all would fart, but y'all would try to make it silent, but for me, that one day I farted loud, and everyone could hear. Everyone got to blame the annoying kid.

Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.

Me: I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g.”

Emo kid: He said like your bullet holes, G.

Me: I have no bullet holes.

Emo kid: Not yet, you don't.

Me: Ayo what the fuc*.

I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.

I was gonna make a gay joke but fuck it.

I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed that I only had a crock pot.😅

You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.

I don't get progressive leftists these days. They claim to be supporting BLM, but they aren't pro-life.

I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.

They brought it over but spilled it on me.

I said that was a udder failure!

What runs but does not walk? It's water.

Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?

I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.

Why were the victims of 9/11 so mad?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

I was gonna tell you a great pun, but it's too cheesy.