But jokes

Amputee

A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?

Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.

Kobe Bryant

You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.

Workout

Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:

Sit-ups: 50

Push-ups: 40

Squats: 30

Do 5 sets.

Name

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.

Memes

Orphan

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They can go 1, 2, 3 but they can’t go home. 🀣

Family

"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😑😑😜😝

Cure

History teacher: "They had a temporary cure for the disease, but it would be years before they found a cure for life."

Student: "I need that."

Cat

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.

Dick pic

When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:

"Enjoy the little things."

Elephant

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"

9/11

I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.

Dyslexia

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.

So I ended up doing the YMCA.

Orphan

What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?

I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.

Penis

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.