But jokes

East Richmond had a train station, but Richmond is better, why?

I know I've changed my name from tj to selfish king but know it's gunna be selfishking#781.

I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that’s just nuts.

I would say a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't land well.

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

One day, I was walking down the street, and then I saw something really funny, and then I ran, and I saw a boomer, but I don't really know what I'm talking about, lol.

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.

Well, I didn’t get as high as I wanted to, but I’m high enough that if I fall I’d probably break something.

I'd tell a science joke, but I was like, "Nah, it would get no reaction."

They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!

I would tell you a pizza joke, but it's too cheesy.

I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?

A cloud.

Does your cat scratch you?

Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.

Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!

Teacher: What’s 2+2?

Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh

Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.

Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.

I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.

Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.

Well, I have nothing.

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.