But jokes

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?

Lots of fans.

A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered burgers, but what they got was plane.

These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.

Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”

Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”

Chef: “Why thank you.”

Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”

Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.

I was going to post a Kobe Briant joke, but the site crashed.

You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!

The emo kid tried to give the tree a high five, but the tree left him hanging.

Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.

That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.

I hate orange, but that always juice back.

What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!

My tower is hard, but after six minutes, it fell over.

I would make a joke about 9/11, but my career would crash and burn.