But jokes

Does your cat scratch you?

Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.

Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!

Teacher: What’s 2+2?

Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh

Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.

Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.

I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.

Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.

Well, I have nothing.

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.

Post Malone was in the hospital, but he is BETTER NOW.

Did you hear about the young man who brought floral arrangements in the shape of a life jacket on his friend’s funeral who drowned last week?

Everyone was furious, but he explained, “It’s what he would have wanted.”

"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.

But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

How is a marriage like a hurricane?

In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.

Police officers hope you’re a criminal.

Doctors hope you get sick.

Mechanics hope you get car troubles.

But only thieves wish you prosperity.

Weird?

I'd tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.

- Sometimes I feel like killing myself...

- But?

- ...

I added Paul Walker on Xbox...

But he spends all his time on the dashboard.

Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.

The brain named itself, and when the brain realized that it named itself, it was surprised.

But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!

I was digging in my garden when I found this chest of gold coins.

I wanted to run inside to tell my wife what I found, but that's when I remembered why I was digging.

Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.